I am Stupid

You won't hear me uttering those words very often, but I am really, really stupid. I gave my summer away. I decided to work all summer. All. Summer. It's only been one week and I'm already asking if it's August.

I was laying in bed way too early on a Friday night thinking about what an idiot I was. It's the bed's fault. It's new. It's a Sleep Number. And it's fabulous. They also weren't giving them away, so I had to get a summer job to pay for it. And that's not it. Joining it in a week will be a whole new bedroom suite. Also not free. Right now, it's my only motivation. *Sigh*

You're probably on the edge of your seat wondering what kind of job could be that horrible. I have worked at so many places, and this one is definitely one of the most challenging right up there with the 3 week stint at Taco Bell over one college winter break (that involved working with lesbians from the correctional facility, but we'll save that story for another time). I work at the YMCA. Not just any job, but with a special grant they have going on. Basically, if you qualify financially and are below level in reading, you're in our program. Also if you have severe behavior problems, you're in the program.

Like I said earlier, it's only been one week. One week. Who can't get through a week, right? Well, I really considered applying at McDonald's after this week. I work with the kindergartners and first graders. Wow. That's all that describes them.

Day 1:

I had to be at work at 6:45. I decided to workout before work at 6:00. I came home barely able to walk. I went 8.25 hours without sitting down. I broke up 2 fistfights (between 6 and 7 year olds). I had been poked well over ten times. I had to raise my voice about every 5 minutes just to be heard over the craziness. Then, I had to come home, make dinner and lunches for the next day and head back to Boonville for volleyball camp. By 9:00, I was home and in bed. God, it was just Monday.

Day 2:
Again, had to be at work at 6:45. Stupid me decided to workout before work again. Craziness continued with the kids. Tuesday's insanity included a girl who is going to be in 4th grade throwing a fit in the middle of the Y Kidz room. I'm talking everything short of laying on the floor and kicking and screaming. God forbid a child have to follow the rules. I know I was asking a lot. I was asking her to wait her turn to wash her hands before lunch. I'm a bitch, I know. So she decides to not go back to her seat and instead, sit on her table. Fast forward 45 minutes, she finally is able to do what we ask her do do (probably because she was hungry and realized that she would not be able to eat her lunch without washing her hands). Hey, I told her I had all day to wait on her to be able to follow the simple rules. It might have helped that the kindergartners were laughing at her sitting there (Who can blame them? She looked like a fool.). Luckily, no volleyball that night, but Clint and I decided to do the acid wash to our basement to prepare it for painting.

Day 3:
Had to be at work at 6:45. Decided NOT to workout since I haven't been able to sit down while at work. And Wednesday was skating day. We were going on a field trip to the skating rink in Columbia. How many kindergartners and first graders do you know are skating pros? Or can moderately skate? Or can stand on the damn things without falling down? Picture it, 60 kids skating (all the Y camps went) and 45 of them are first-timers. For the first 20 minutes, it looked like we had put 60 high energy chihuahuas on a frozen pond. Skitter, skitter, fall. Skitter, skitter, fall. The kids who could actually skate were faced with the obstacle of weaving their way through hordes of fallen kids who were grabbing at anyone or anything to try to get up. Kind of like a zombie battlefield. I got the chance to show off my super skating skills. Thanks Skatetown! Finally, the workers brought out these little walkers on wheels to help the little ones skate. The spastic chihuahuas turned into scooting grandmas. The trip ended with one of my girls wetting her pants.
Then, we went back to the YMCA for our regular afternoon activities. The director of our program left and put me in charge until she came back. So we went outside to make Mr. PotatoHeads out of real potatoes. While waiting for one of the workers to get all the supplies out, the kiddos were running races on the t-ball field. One of my little "darlings" decided to play on the bleachers. I told him to get down and not play on them, so what does he do? Goes to the bleachers by the other teachers where he got stuck. Yep, stuck. Really stuck. His little legs were dangling there and his hips were stuck in the 4 inch gap between footboards. No amount of pushing, pulling, or contorting was getting him out. So while I was down under the bleachers trying to figure a way to get him out or how to take apart the bleachers, everyone else was freaking out. And called 911. So 3 firemen, 4 EMTs, and 1 police chief came to get this kid out of the bleachers. I couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't hurt, he was just stuck. I stayed with him and watched them take apart the bleachers. They got him out and he ended up being stuck for a total of 18 minutes. His dad came and took him home (he was bruised up, but that was from the skating. He was spastic chihuahua #1).
Then back home to make dinner and back to volleyball.

Day 4:
Woke up exhausted. To work at 6:45. No workout. Screaming kids, 2 more fits from kids who are way too old to be throwing them. Start to have problems with my kindergartners and first graders just blatantly not being able to follow directions. Or maybe it was just opposite day and no one told me. Literally, I said, "D, it is not your turn to get a drink, please sit down." What does he do? Walks over to the water fountain and gets a drink while looking me in the eye! I saw red! Not to mention, I was dealing with 20 tattles a minute. So we cut our play time short and went in to have a meeting on the difference between tattling and reporting. Three of my friends were in time-out during this meeting, sitting on stools on the edge of our meeting. Being total buttheads. Scratching up the wall with their stools. That was it! I got my phone out and dialed the front office. Them - "Who are you calling?" Me - "Someone to come and get you because you are not ok." Them - "Noooooooooooooo! I'll be good! I'll be good!" Me - "It's too late right now, but you need to go where you're going to be able to be safe so that you can get yourself back together so you can join our group." Them - "Nooooooooooooooo!"
I ended up having to stay 45 minutes late that day because no one came to take my place and I couldn't leave the only worker there with 25 yahoos. Had to rush home and make dinner then rush to volleyball. Stayed up until midnight doing a bridal necklace for a friend's wedding and getting lunch ready.

Day 5:
Getting up was hard. I have a cough and barely have a voice. Into work at 6:45. Had to vacuum the whole room and pick everything up because it didn't get done the night before. Kids were crazy, but I'm getting more used to it. I think they were nicer to me because I had no voice. During lunch, we got "talked to" for telling the kids they had to eat all of their lunch before getting seconds. Now they just have to try the food. So go ahead and open the whole bag of pretzels and only eat 3 then throw them away. I don't like this rule because hello, this is a service to you! You don't pay anything for this and you're choosing to be picky? Come on! Eat the freaking carrot! It's drowning in ranch dressing! Geez! But I will admit, they are getting better at manners. Almost all of them are remembering to say please and thank you on their own. Progress, people! Progress!
I got to leave at 1:00 to go help Clint finish acid washing the basement and get ready for the pups to get picked up.

All in all, I think this has been the longest week of my life. I'm still coughing and recovering from the kids. On the bright side, this group of kids will make me think my class of 27 fifth graders next year will be a breeze. And there will be plenty of blogging opportunities from this summer.