Update

I know my posts have been few and far between. I'm realizing that when I'm not happy, I don't want to post. No one wants to read about what Debbie Downer has been up to. But, in the interest of keeping everyone updated, here we go.

This fall has been ridiculously busy. Teaching school, coaching, going to school, working on school curriculum, raging against "the man", and trying to make a baby has really taken a toll on me. Not to mention that all the stress from my busy schedule is compounded by the crazy pills I have been taking (clomid).

I'm a hot mess.

More than usual...if you can believe that.

As far as baby making goes, I've been upped to my max dosage of clomid which has turned me into a psycho. I apologize to everyone around me for my craziness. We also have been referred to Dr. Wilshire who is a fertility specialist. We have an appointment to see him after the first of the year. I'm hoping that the threat of a specialist will shock my body into making a baby.

I've been to the chiropractor, massage therapist, and I'm contemplating acupuncture as ways to relax and realign my body to create a baby-making environment. I have had an appointment for something every week since volleyball ended. I've also switched to 1/2 decaffeinated coffee and severely limited my soda intake to about one a week. I've been doing my best to avoid processed foods but sometimes that's just unavoidable.

Besides the baby thing, school is a huge frustration to me right now. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the way one of my new administrators is running things. Let's just say I'm not into a tyranny. I have a hard time respecting people who do not have as much experience with the things we are doing (especially in reading) and won't even consider the teachers' opinions. I'm working on trying to be understanding but it's really difficult.

I've been really down lately and I'm sure part of it is due to the medication I have been taking. But boy is it hard to get through! I am used to being the optimist. The one with the positive attitude. If I want something, I just work my ass off to get it.

I know I'm not in that same mind frame right now. I often feel like I'm hanging on to my sanity by a string.

Thank God for Clint and my family! I've had some pretty low moments in the past month and they've been there to keep me pushing through the hard times.