More Treatment

I had been doing really good with keeping my crying in check since this summer regarding fertility treatments.  It's just been the same clomid, IUI, two week wait, period.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  Gearing up for school and volleyball have kept me so busy that I don't think I even had time to cry.

Well, that damn period came around again and I made my appointment to go in and get scanned again.  This time, I talked to the doctor and he said while in the initial exam he didn't think I have endometriosis, because I've had several good cycles and terrible cramps, and we're still not pregnant, I probably also have endometriosis.

Awesome.

The best way to get an idea of what we're really dealing with here is to have a laproscopic surgery.  Or as my doctor likes to call it, "The bumper to bumper surgery."  He goes in, checks things out and cleans up any endometriosis he sees.  A tune up if you will.

My insurance covers it and Clint is out of town when I'm ovulating this month.  It was a no-brainer.

Then I got in the car.  And I thought about this surgery.  It's legit, with stitches, recovery time, and everything.  Kind of scary.  Necessary, but scary.

And I still had to run errands.

That means I had to keep it together for an additional hour and a half.  That also means that I wasn't going to cook dinner so I picked something unhealthy up because it sounded good.

I finally called my mom and cried in the car on the way home.  I'm nervous about being in pain after the surgery.  I also realized that is is another serious step towards really being infertile.  And that's just plain sad.