Why Do We Do the Things We Do?

I had a rough day.  I got an e-mail from someone today that was really hurtful.  I cried...a lot.  I try to give this person 100%, but I guess it just wasn't good enough.

I made it through my day with only crying 2 more times about this e-mail.  I have to meet with this person next week, and I'm worried about how that's going to go.  Is this person going to be as hurtful in person as they were through the e-mail?  Or are they going to be kind and suggest that I just totally didn't read it with the right tone?

Anyway it goes down, I'm going to be worrying over it all week until we get it over with.

I printed off the e-mail so I could make notes on how to make this meeting gentler.  The crazy part is, I dread reading it again.  I know what it says, but rereading it just makes the wounds fresh again.  I know that the more I read it, the better I will probably be able to deal with it.  I have to totally gear myself up to deal with the fact that this person doesn't like me or maybe doesn't like how I do things. 

See, I'm a people pleaser.  So when someone is mad at me or disappointed in me, especially if I'm working really hard on doing what's right for them, it just kills me. 

If you're wondering what I'm doing this week, I'll be trying to read through this e-mail again and again and again...